TRIP
by XxXMiyavisHeartXxX
Summary: Miyavi life is messed up. Everything is starting to go wrong..He didnt care about anything, his life was meaningless..and he didnt mind...until he met him... Featuring: Miyavi, Gazette, Brief Mention of: 12012, An Cafe, Dir en Grey
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I took a deep breath, and watched as the slender needle was pressed into my welcoming arm. The cold metal was shocking against my sensitive skin. I blinked as my vision blurred. I looked around, before the blackness settled in, and my mind shut down.

I jolted awake at the overwhelming sound of the bell. Still in a half sleep, I looked around. Other students were departing the classroom, heading towards the gym for lunch, after spending ninety minutes in this room. I fall asleep within ten minutes anyways, so it's not like I care.

Climbing out of my seat, I picked up my bag, and started towards the door.

"Miyavi," my teacher called. I stopped on the spot, mentally cursed myself, and turned around to look at Mr. Takuya. The classroom was empty now, except for the two of us. I waited as he focused on putting his papers into piles, not even acknowledging the fact that I might have places to be. I sighed, annoyed, and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What?" I asked, tired of wasting my time here. Mr. Takuya looked up at me, waved me over, and continued with his work. Beginning to get pissed off at him, I stalked over, and sat down, glaring at him.

"Falling asleep in my class is unacceptable, Miyavi," he said, not looking up as he marked an unknown person's work.

"Whatever," I retorted, looking out the window as others passed by, heading to the store down the street. The sun was high in the sky, shining off the aluminum entrance to the school.

"No, not whatever. You have to think about your future!" he went on. Didn't he know I didn't care? "You have potential. Don't throw it away!" Was this guy serious? Did he honestly think that I was going to stay here and listen to this? I rolled my eyes. Yeah, right.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." I stood up, and walked out, ignoring his frustrated sigh.

Walking through the hallway, I saw the 'groupies', as I call them, that insisted in following me around; the weak ones who can't handle a hit. I only keep them around for when they might come in useful; perhaps, as a diversion for the next police bust. If I was ever dumb enough to stay there long enough to need a diversion.

Unfortunately, I was forced to stay in this hell until I graduate. Not that I wanted to, but really, what else is there to do? It wasn't as if I hadn't tried to get out of it already. Most of the groupies were airheads, and I sometimes contemplated whether or not it was worth it to keep them around. Jaymus was the only one that really had any street smarts. The only one that could handle his hits. He's sorta like my protégé, if you want to think about it that way.

"Hey, Miyavi! Over here!" Jesse called me over. Great. Why can't people just leave me alone today?

"Yeah?" I questioned in a tired voice, reluctantly walking over to the group.

"Wanna get some lunch?" he asked eagerly, his eyes shining and a huge grin on his face. He looked at me hopefully. As if.

"No, I've got somewhere I have to go," I said, quickly making up an excuse to not go into the gym. I never have been a fan of public places, let alone a public place crowded with teenage lunatics.

"Alright. We'll go with you," Ayden responded happily, shrugging off Jesse's idea.

"_No_," I retorted, walking out the door without looking back. I didn't need to look to know that their expression was of disappointment, but like I cared. They should be used to it by now.

I walked down the street to a little secluded park, surrounded by trees. I sat down at the top of the slide, and closed my eyes. I just needed to get away from that school, those teachers…those people. It sickens me to see all those brainwashed kids, going along with the school's bewitching ideas. I'm not going to get sucked into that. If they're too weak to see what that school is doing, why should I care? Their whole system is messed up.

I felt the wind blow across my face, and heard it rustle the leaves on the trees. Taking a deep breath, I sighed out, trying to relax before I went back to the brick building that I loathed so much, if I went back.

I heard rocks shift underfoot as somebody walked up behind me.

"Miyavi?"

"Hey, Jay," I sighed, before opening my eyes to see Jaymus standing there with his hands in his pockets, looking a little guilty for following me. "What's up?"

"Uhmm…," he said, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow, wondering why he would come, even when I told them all not to, if he was just going to get nervous and not ask for what I knew he came here for.

"Never mind; I'll ask later. Sorry," he said quietly. I jumped down from my spot, and walked up to him, sticking my own hands into the pocket of my tight hoodie.

"Let's go back. I have some stuff for you," I said, walking away. He brightened up immediately, and followed me. We walked silently. Jay always seemed to interrupt any quiet moments I had to get his drugs. If it was anybody else, I would've given them the beating of their life, but Jaymus I knew needed this more than any of the others.

His father was never the nicest man, so it didn't surprise me when he started to come to school with bruises. His mother never got the nerve to stand up to her husband. I shook my head. Can't the world have at least _one_ family that didn't hate each other? Jay moved out of his parent's house. He couldn't take it anymore. He told me so the other day. He's living in a place across town.

Upon arriving at the school, I told Jaymus to wait outside while I got his share.

"Here," I said, as we sat on a park bench at the back of the school. I held out the bag to him, after making sure that there was nobody else around. He took it gratefully. I waited a few moments before clearing my throat.

"Oh! Right," Jay said, taking the money of his pocket and handing it over to me, which I took and put in my wallet.

"Have fun."

When the bell rang, Jaymus got up, and started walking back towards the front doors. He stopped, turned around and looked at me expectantly. I didn't move.

"Aren't you coming?"

"NO," I answered abruptly. I saw him jump slightly at my harsh tone, but he should know better than to ask such stupid questions. He should know better.

"O-Ok," he stuttered, backing off, "I'll see you later, maybe," he turned and ran inside. I shook my head, and walked the other way. I had given Jay the last of what I had of the heroin I got from Washington, and I needed to get more. Now.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I took the bus downtown, and walked down a few streets looking for some dealers I know hang around this area looking for old, and new, buyers. It was the right place to look.

This area isn't the best place to be around, and it would scare the average person, but I've been here so often, it's nothing but an underground market to me. Not a very nice one, though. It was very dark and dirty. Oil spills and rats were common. Walking down the dimly lit street, you could see guys sitting on the sidewalk overdosing. Nobody here cared. I always told myself that I wasn't ever going to be that stupid, and end up like those guys. Those were the pitiful lowlifes that lost everything, and were now reduced to living off the streets. They would do anything for some cash for drugs. I always have enough money. I have a job that pays really well, and I travel to a lot of places.

The last time I went on a business trip was to Washington. All I really had to do was deliver some papers to one of the managers, and after that I could do whatever I wanted. Sightseeing, shopping, or anything else. I wandered around for a little while, looking around in some stores, but I didn't really find anything interesting.

I ended up meeting this really unusual guy named Reita who sold me some gear really cheap. It was really good stuff, too. It's all gone now, unfortunately.

Leaning up against a brick wall at the entrance of an alley, was Aoi. Aoi was one of the four major dealers in the city. I had met the others briefly a while ago, but I found Jared's 'business' the most successful, and I found it the most reliable. Aoi's gear was a bit more expensive, but I usually got a deal because we both worked at Enerflex, and energy and Resource Company. I didn't see him very often, but we always helped each other out when we needed it.

So he gave me a deal so that instead of one hundred and seventy two dollars per gram, I got it for only one hundred and ten.

I waited until he was finished with his previous customer before walking up to him. I saw him smirk as he saw me.

"Hey there, Miyavi. How's it going?" he asked, putting am arms around my shoulder as we advanced deeper into the alleyway. I shrugged. Aoi removed his arm from my shoulder, and leaned against the brick wall again, watching me. I shifted awkwardly. I hated it when people stared at me.

"Alright, I guess." I didn't want to get into details with him. I don't know how trustworthy he is, and I didn't plan on finding out now.

"Alright is good," he said, not really caring to know more, which was fine by me, "So, what you looking for today?"

"The usual."

"How much?" Aoi asked his eyebrows rose curiously.

"How much you got?" I looked at him. He thought about it.

"I believe I have five grams left," he responded after a while. Five grams. Five hundred and fifty dollars. That's a lot of money, but since I was supplying not only myself, but three others…Another way of making money. I have six hundred with me. That only leaves me with fifty bucks until tomorrow. Take away about ten dollars for the bus ride home. It's cutting it pretty close.

"I'll take it."

"All of it?" he asked, incredulously.

"Yeah," I said, keeping it short and to the point. He looked at me for a minute before answering.

"Alright, it's back at the house. Let's go," he said, turning around, and heading out of the alley. Uh, his house? No, thank you.

"Let's just meet somewhere. How long will it take?" I asked. He gave me a funny look, before shrugging it off.

"Ten minutes, maybe twenty," he answered. Twenty minutes. Can I afford to wait here that long? I don't know which is more dangerous; going with him, or waiting here? Looking around, I found my answer.

"Never mind, I'll come with you."

After receiving another strange look from Aoi, we started traveling towards his house.

_Maybe it isn't his house_, I started thinking, _maybe this wasn't the best idea._

His house wasn't actually that far away. Even so, I still kept careful watch of which turns we took, and which direction we went, in case I needed a quick get away.

The house was half hidden behind a large pine tree, and the windows were covered by something black that I couldn't name, and the odor of vinegar hung in the air, although it was hard to notice with the scent of the pine tree that continued to grow stronger as we walked up the pathway towards the front door. The siding was brown, and slowly deteriorating.

As we walked past the door, and along the side of the house, we walked past the meters. I could tell they'd been tampered with. Typical. The smell of vinegar was getting stronger, and there was also a slightly 'skunkish' smell in the air now.

We went in through the garage. The walls had moisture stains, and were slightly molding. We walked past what would be the living room, and I found that what was covering the windows were heavy black cloth curtains that were damp from moisture to the point where they were almost soaked.

Along the hallway, I could see exposed wires along the baseboards. That can't be very safe. Oh well. We stopped in front of a closed door, which I guessed led to where they store the different drugs that they grow here. I really didn't want to go in there, so I decided that I'd wait outside. I leaned against the wall, but immediately stood straight again when I found that the walls were also nearly soaked, as well as very weak, and nearly crumbled at the short time that I had put my weight on it.

Aoi returned within the minute with two bags of the white powder.

"Here you go. Five grams of the best." Doubt it.

"Awesome, thanks." I handed him the cash, and watched him count it before handing me the two bags. Jared led me back out to the garage, where I continued the walk back to the bus stop alone.

That place was definitely a grow op. At least I'll never get to the point where I'd have to live in a place like that, where you can't even breathe without tasting the malignity of the mold growing on every inch of visible drywall. Disgusting.

Unlocking the front door, I walked into the quiet house. 'Rents must not be home yet. Fine by me. I stashed my purchase under a loose floorboard in my room. Stacy, formerly known as 'Mom', would freak if she knew that there was an imperfection in 'her' house, but it was this imperfection that hid my secret from them.

I quickly put the floorboard back in place as I heard the door close, and Stacy and John taking off their shoes, and hanging up their coats. Their voices rang in the air as they argued. I blocked them out, and turned up my music, grabbing 'Catcher in the Rye' off my end table, and preoccupied myself as their voices rose.

Why can't they just get along for once? Not for me. I learned long ago that they couldn't care less about me. Nevertheless, the least they could do was fight in private so that Bailey, my little six-year old sister, didn't have to hear it.

Bailey was so young; so innocent. She doesn't deserve to have to put up with such horrible people. I heard a small knock on my door. Looking up, I saw Bailey holding the door open slightly, watching me. Smiling, I set my book down, and motioned for her to come in.

Closing the door behind her, she crawled up beside me, holding her hands over her ears, pouting at her parent's fighting that was continuously getting more and more violent. Hugging her closely to me as she turned on my TV to cartoons, I felt sorry for her. John wasn't a good dad at all. He ignored her, and although she was his kid, he treated her as if she was inferior to him. He treated everybody like that. It makes me glad that he isn't MY dad.

I don't know much about my dad. I never got to meet him, since he died in the Gulf War. Stacy never talks about him much, but when I was younger, she used to tell me stories. His name was Lee. He sounded like the nicest guy in the world. I know that he must have been quite a musician, since I couldn't have possibly acquired my singing talent from Stacy, who was tone deaf.

The only thing that I have left of my dad's is his guitar. My most prized possession. Other than Bailey, there was nothing I loved more. Nothing could part me from it, ever.

I woke at two in the morning to find the house quiet, my TV shut off, and Bailey sleeping peacefully next to me. Everything has seemed to calm down. I laid back down, and was asleep again within seconds.

Only a few hours later, I was awoken by my alarm, telling me that it was time to get ready for another long day in agony as I attended school.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

School: a waste of time in which boring, brainless half-witted idiots try to pass on useless techniques that you can't even use in the real world.

My head was a bit lightheaded from the 100mg I took this morning. I was still acting, and walking fine, but everybody was giving me this weird look. Not like I cared. It doesn't even matter what they think. I needed that hit to make it through today.

School was becoming insufferable. Everybody was starting to panic about end of year exams. I don't see what the big deal is with them! They act as if their life depends on it. Also, the teachers were getting edgy, and therefore having less tolerance with me sleeping. So I get sent to the office. Where I slept. Honestly, what's the difference if I sleep there or here?

Lately, it's been harder for me to stay awake. Even when I'm not in school. I have to take more hits just to stay awake. I don't know what's going on, but I'm probably just not getting enough sleep at night.

As the final bell rang, my head hurt from the day's activities, since the high had wore off around the middle of second block. I needed to get home and shoot up. I needed to clear my head.

I climbed onto the bus with the crowd. They spoke loudly as they sat in their seats, purposely leaving the seat beside me empty. I didn't care. I leaned my head against the cold glass, and stared at the short gold lines speeding past me.

After a while, it was beginning to make me dizzy, so I had to look away. I happened to look up just in time to get a crumpled piece of paper thrown at my face. Too tired to yell at whoever threw it, I tossed it to the floor.

"Hey! Those are my notes! You just wrecked them!" A boy a year younger than me accused me, pointing to the paper ball that was now floating in a puddle of murky brown water. Was this kid trying to get beat up?

"If you really wanted them, you wouldn't have thrown it away," I retorted. Lucky for him, I was too tired to torment him to the point that he'd be calling for his mommy.

"You owe me new notes!" This guy was just begging for it. What's his problem? I gathered what strength I had left, to grab him by the collar of his white polo shirt. Typical rich boy.

"I don't owe you nothing! Now get away from me!" I yelled into his face, before pushing him away, and collapsing into my seat. This was NOT helping my headache.

I got off the bus two blocks from my house, and walked the rest of the way. Upon entering the house, I heard yelling from John and something glass breaking. Great. They were fighting AGAIN! This wasn't what I needed right now at all. Stacy was crying as John said something. Hearing the racist term, I knew immediately that it was about me. The only reason he hates me more than the rest of the world was because my dad was Korean. Racist bastard.

I started for the stairs, but decided against it as I heard loud footsteps coming down them. I turned towards the living room, but didn't get far before a large hand grabbed my shoulder, and threw me against the wall.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?!?" John yelled in my face, with his enraged expression and sour breath.

"Get off me," I said, uninterested as to what I did this time. It was probably the same thing as every other time. Something stupid probably happened at his work, and now he was using me as his punching bag, as he always did.

I tried inching along the wall, away from him, but I didn't get far before he pulled me back, slapping me harshly across the face, forcing my head to turn. My cheek stung as silence fell in the air. I looked up at Stacy, the woman who was supposed to be my mother, and supposed to defend me. She just stood there.

"Don't you DARE talk to me like that EVER again!" John yelled into my face. I remained silent. "Now, what the hell do you think you're doing with this is MY house?!?" he yelled, throwing the two bags I had hidden earlier at me. Stacy was crying now. Whatever. I don't care. She wants to cry; she can cry at my funeral, claiming how much she loved me, and how much I hurt her. She can tell all her little lies to herself, since nobody would show up anyways, except maybe Jaymus. But who am I kidding? These people don't care about me. Nobody at school gives a damn about me. Not even the groupies. I'm just the person who gets their H for them because they're too scared to go and get it themselves.

"I want you out of here, now, and I want you gone for good!" John screamed, pointing towards the door. I answered him with silence.

"Please, Miyavi, just take your stuff and go," Stacy said quietly. I stared at her.

Weren't you the one that was always supposed to support me? Weren't you the one that was supposed to keep me on the right track? Where were you when I needed you? What happened to the mom who used to tuck me into bed as a kid? Who would sing to me as I fell asleep? Why did you desert me?

I went up to my room silently, and began packing. I didn't have many clothes, so I still had extra room in my bag, which I filled with books, my wallet, and a special picture of my dad that I had found in the bottom of Stacy's drawer a few years ago.

Strapping my guitar to my back, I headed down with my one bag, and stopped when I saw Bailey standing at the front door, trying helplessly to block it. I knelt down to look into her glossy eyes.

"'yavi, don't go. You can't go! Please," she pleaded, tiny tears falling down her pink cheeks. I pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Hun. I have to go," I said, rubbing her back as she cried.

"Hey," a cold, heartless voice who could only belong to one person said. I turned, releasing Bailey, who ran upstairs. John was standing there with his arms crossed. Standing up, I stared at him. He threw the two plastic bags of the white crystallized powder. I caught them, and quickly put them in my pocket. "Get out. Now."

Without another word, I left the house. In a way, it was a relief to finally escape the prison of that house, but there was still the problem of where I was going to go. So I went to the only place I knew.

Getting off the bus to see that dark, dirty street gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had no idea what I was going to do, where I was going to go. On my way here, Enerflex had phoned me to tell me that I no longer had a job there. John had phoned them, and they didn't want 'my kind' of person working for their business. Obviously, they had no idea about Aoi. Not that I was going to tell them anyways.

Now, no job, no money, and no future, I had turned into the exact thing I swore I'd never become. I wandered the lonely streets, looking for something. What; I'm not sure. Answers, maybe. What did I do wrong? What mistake did I make that turned me from the confident person I used to be, to just another guy sitting on the street?

I had sat down for a moment to regain my strength. I pulled out one of the bags, and the needle and syringe from my small duffle bag.

I wrapped the long rubber band around my arm tightly. Pouring some of the heroin onto the metal spoon I brought, I heated it with a lighter, and mixed it with some water that I had gotten from a water bottle I had left over from school.

Since I had forgotten to bring any cotton balls with me, I was forced to put the mixture into the syringe directly from the spoon. Usually, I would soak up the mixture into the cotton, before putting in the syringe, so that there were no extra chemicals or particles mixed in with what I was going to inject.

However, since I had no cotton, I decided to take the risk. I carefully inserted the tip of the needle into my vein. First I checked to make sure it was in the vein, before pushing down on the top of the syringe, and felt the drug wash through my body.

After thirty seconds, I felt the release I longed for. My head cleared, and my spirits lifted. Suddenly, everything didn't seem too bad. I even felt the urge to smile, despite the situation I was in.

I felt like I was floating; like I was the tallest person in the world. I watched the world from above. I watched all the people on the streets, on their own little cloud nine.

A voice broke through my barrier, and brought me back down to earth, and my pitiful situation.

"Cindy? Cindy?? Cindy, where are you?" a frantic voice called. I opened my drowsy eyes to see a guy around my age running through the streets, apparently having lost someone.

I watched him run around for a while, desperately searching for this 'Cindy'. He wasn't bad looking, and seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. His auburn hair was well-kept, although it was slightly messed up, due to the slight breeze that was passing through the streets.

Eventually, I decided to help the poor guy out. I stood up, slightly queasy still from the recent intake of the drug. Walking up to him, I lightly tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, do you need some help?" I offered. Why was I doing this again? It's not like me to help people. Especially people I don't even know.

He jumped when I tapped his shoulder, and moved away from me.

"S-Stay away from me," his voice quivered. He was shaking, and looked a little afraid. I couldn't look that bad, could I? I pushed away the question, and persisted with trying to help him. Why do I care?

"Don't worry. I want to help you," I said, holding up my arms to show that I didn't mean any harm. Wrong thing to do. He took one look at my arm, and his eyes narrowed.

"Looks like you're the one that needs help," he argued. I didn't know how to answer that. I wasn't that bad. At least I wasn't living on the streets. Oh, wait. I was. Crap. Well, at least I wasn't getting high in public. Oh, wait. I just did. What's happened to me?

"Please, just let me help you. I promise I won't do anything. I promise." He looked at me for a few moments like I was crazy. Perhaps I was. I don't know anymore.

"Why do you want to help me?" he questioned. The moment of truth. Why DID I want to help him? I didn't know. I just felt like I should. As a way to regain what dignity I had left.

"You just look like you could use some help is all," I told him. He looked as if he was contemplating whether or not to trust me or not. I guess he decided when he answered me.

"Ok, but don't try to pull anything or I'll call the police," he warned. I promised.

He was looking for his little sister, Cindy, who coincidently was the same age as Bailey. She had run off at the bus stop, and he had been looking for her for about ten minutes now.

His name was Kai, or so he told me. It wouldn't be a surprise if he gave me a fake name. He didn't really trust me, and it showed. He seemed nice enough. Maybe the reason that I felt so compelled to help him was because I knew that if Bailey was lost, I would want any help I could get to help me find her.

We checked the surrounding streets with no luck, before deciding to start back at the bus stop, and see if there was anything that could help us find her.

When I was younger, in grade four or so, I was in boy scouts. I had learned how to track along with other things, until Stacy had pulled me out of the programs so that she could afford to go on trips to see John, who at the time, lived across the country.

At the bus stop, we found some footprints that looked to belong to a young kid. Following the footprints, we found ourselves in a park where a group of kids were playing. We scanned the area for Cindy.

"Kai!" a small voice called out, and a small girl ran forward. She had long auburn hair that matched Kai's, and was holding a small blue bear in her arms.

"Cindy!" Kai said, relieved, hugging his sister close. I smiled, and satisfied that I helped, started walking away. "Hey, wait!" I stopped, and looked behind me at Kai, who was walking towards me, with Cindy following close behind. I waited. "Thank you. Thank you so much. Without you, I never would've found her. I owe you one." I just smiled.

"I helped. That's all I wanted to do." He seemed to understand. We nodded goodbye, and I headed back to the filth that I was to sleep in tonight.

I tried to make the best of it. I took a sweater from my bag, and did my best to make it as comfortable a pillow as I could.

It was hard to fall asleep. The small breeze from earlier had turned in a fierce wind, forcing me into the alley where I usually go to get the opioid from Aoi. Eventually, I fell asleep.

My slumber was short lived, as I was roughly awakened by three dark figures.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"What the—," I was cut off as the taller of the three gagged me. What was going on? Who were these people? Where were they taking me?

I was led through the streets, arms tied behind my back, by the biggest of the three. The short one was carrying my stuff, and the tall guy was on the phone, talking to what sounded like a man's voice.

Through the streets we trotted, hidden by the trees. It was too dark for me to see where we were going. We arrived at what I assumed was our destination, and I was pushed through the door.

"What in the world do you guys think you're doing?" an unknown voice hissed angrily, "How many times do I have to tell you to use the garage to come in?"

"Sorry, boss. We thought that it would be too noisy," the short one explained, cringing slightly at his boss' tone. The tall guy got off the phone, and walked into the dark room. The one that held me pushed me forward after him.

A light was switched on, and bright light flooded the area, making me shut my eyes.

"What in the world? Can't you guys do anything right? I didn't tell you to tie him up!" the boss yelled.

"We thought--," the guy was cut off, as the boss yelled once again.

"Untie him!" I heard someone rushing towards me, and soon felt the rope around my wrists being cut loose. My eyes had now adjusted to the light, and I looked around. I was in an ill-kept bedroom. I removed the gag around my mouth.

"Where am I? What the hell is going on?" I questioned, extremely pissed off.

"Sorry about that. I should've known those buffoons would screw this up somehow," the unknown voice told me. I turned around to find the owner of the voice, and my jaw dropped.

"A-Aoi?"

"Heard you got kicked out. Thought you might enjoys somewhere decent to stay," he said, smiling. He calls this place decent? Well, I suppose it's better than sleeping outside.

"Uh, thanks."

"There's your stuff," Aoi pointed out my bag and guitar sitting by the door, "You can sleep in here tonight, and tomorrow we'll talk about rent." With that he walked out of the room, closing the door.

There were plenty of questions I had that needed to be answered, but right now I was too tired, and just collapsed on the bed, falling asleep within seconds.

Waking up, I was confused as to where I was. Then the memories of the day before came flooding back into my mind. Getting kicked out, going to the dark streets, getting high, and Kai. Kai, that cute guy with the little sister the same age as Bailey. I wouldn't mind seeing him again.

My thoughts were interrupted as the door opened, and Aoi sat beside me on the edge of the mattress.

"How you feeling?" he asked, looking at me. I opened my eyes cautiously. Lucky for me, he hadn't turned on the lights. I rubbed my eyes as I sat up.

"Alright, I guess," I replied groggily.

"Great. There's breakfast in the kitchen for you. Help yourself." I nodded in reply before he left me to get changed.

Quickly pulling some clean clothes on, I ventured into the hallway. There was still the faint smell of mold in the air, but it seemed to be less dominant than before. There were quiet voices coming from the living room. I looked in through the open doorway to see the three guys from last night talking around a small table.

In the light, I could see their appearance was quite different than I had imagined. The tall one had short black hair that matched his skin tone, and a short, thick beard. The short man was actually quite round, and had short, red curly hair that stood out against the dull colors of the house. His face was spotted with freckles, and he looked as if he should be in a 'Goonies' movie. The third resembled an ex-marine. He was very strongly built, and had short blonde hair, and a scar that went from his right temple to his upper lip.

They stopped talking, and looked up at me as I stood there staring at them. I blinked, and continued on my search for the kitchen, slightly embarrassed that I had been caught.

I found a room that resembled a kitchen, but it was hard to tell because of how dirty it was. Aoi was sitting at the table with a bowl of dry cereal, and a newspaper in front of him.

I pulled out a chair across from him, and poured myself a bowl of Frosted Flakes, and ate quietly.

It was an odd situation to be in. There were still many questions that I wanted answers to, but I wasn't sure if it would be smart to ask the deal why he's letting me stay here, and I'm not even sure what he's expecting me to do in exchange for it.

"So," Aoi broke the silence, folding the paper up, and setting it aside.

"So?" I questioned; not sure if I should be afraid of what might come next.

"About you're rent," he continued as he put the dishes in the sink; and the cereal box in the cupboard, "Are you more comfortable selling or delivering?" This confused me slightly.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you're going to have to earn your stay here somehow. WE can't have you staying here for free. So would you rather sell the stuff or deliver it?" I wasn't sure. Selling would involve more people who could get violent, and there was plenty I could mess up. Also, if there was a police bust, it would be me that got charged.

"Deliver, I guess."

"Yeah, that's probably better anyways. That's what you did at Enerflex, so it's basically the same thing, just, you don't want to get caught."

So that's what I did. For three months I delivered assorted drugs to buyers all over the city. I never talked much to the three other guys, who I had learned were called Luke, Mason, and Raphael. Aoi was actually hardly at the house, and just showed up once in a while to check up on the grow op, and to give us our next job that we had to do. It was a dangerous job, but I secured me a place to stay, and food to eat, even if it wasn't always the best.

Over the time that had passed, I had almost forgotten about Kai, but found myself thinking about him one day on my way back from delivering some Coke to some eager teens from a nearby city.

Walking off the C-train, I accidently ran into someone, knocking them to the ground.

"Sorry," I muttered, before continuing on my way home.

"Miyavi?" I stopped. I recognized that voice from somewhere, but where? Turning, I was caught off guard as the unknown male attacked me with a hug.

"Uh…," I managed to get out, before the guy finally decided to let me go. Now I got the chance to see who this weirdo was. My eyes widened.

"J-Jay?" I smiled at the young male from what seemed so long ago in my past.

"Oh my God, where have you BEEN?" he questioned excitedly, "We heard that you got kicked out. Where've you been staying?" We, of course, referred to the groupies that used to follow me around everywhere I went.

"Eh, you know, here and there," I shrugged, not wanting to tell him how far I had fallen since seeing him last.

"I see. Well, the guys would love to see you again. You should stop by tonight for a visit," Jaymus suggested. I normally wouldn't be allowed to go out and socialize, but I don't have any other jobs to do tonight, so Aoi shouldn't be dropping by anytime soon.

"Sure, I'll come by." What was I doing? Going against Aoi's rules? A very dangerous thing to do. So why was I doing it?

"Awesome. I'll tell the guys. Also, there is someone I want you to meet."

"Oh?" This should be interesting.

"Yeah. He doesn't use or anything, but he's cool. You'll like him." Jaymus was still so childish at times. Yet it was good to see. Happiness wasn't heard of at Aoi's place. Just boredom and the occasional hit. Occasional hit has turned into every other hour lately, though.

We said our goodbyes, and continued on our ways. Tonight was going to be interesting. I wonder who this new kid is, and why everybody likes him so much.

It wasn't until about an hour before I had to leave that I realized that I didn't have anything suitable to wear. That's not good. I don't have time to go out, and buy some new clothes. After taking a shower, it didn't leave me very much time. That's when I had an idea. I was already going against Aoi big time. Would it really matter now if I 'borrowed' some of Aoi's clean clothes?

I looked around the corner for any signs of Raphael, Luke, or Mason. Confident that the coast was clear, I quietly snuck into Aoi's room.

I was never allowed in Aoi's room, and now I finally got the chance to look around.

There wasn't much to see. A made bed that hadn't been slept in for weeks, a plasma TV, and a small table in the corner. It was shockingly clean compared to the rest of the house.

I searched through the drawers for some clothes. I didn't find much. In one drawer, there was an assortment of needles and syringes. Others had phonebooks and journals in them. I took one of the small books out, and looked through it.

There were pages and pages of names. Name after name after name was written on the pages in Aoi's neat printing. Why would he have all these people's names written here?

Beside each name was a number. Each book was filled with these names and numbers. I didn't pay too much attention to this. They probably just owed Aoi money.

Putting the books back into the drawer, I moved to the closet. Inside there was many clothes, a few pairs of shoes, and a safe. I only had ten minutes left before I needed to leave, so I hastily picked out a black shirt and jeans, and rushed out.

I got off the bus across from Jay's house. It looked the same as it did before. Taking a deep breath, I walked across the street, and up to the front door. I pressed the button, and heard the chimes ring from inside.

A few moments later I heard running footsteps, and the door opened.

"Hey, Miyavi! Almost thought you weren't gonna show," Jay said, closing the door as we walked up the stairs.

"Yeah, sorry about that. The buses were slow today," I told him. He stopped, and looked at me worried. "What?"

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked, checking my forehead with the back of his hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You just said sorry!" he said, laughing as he continued up the stairs. I smirked, and followed him. I suppose it WAS very unusual for them to hear me say sorry. Last time I had seen them, there would be no way in hell I'd even say anything relatively NICE to them and still they would be there.

I felt really bad about this as Jay went into the kitchen. As I entered the room, I was tackled to the ground by Jesse and Ayden.

"MIYAVI!" Jesse yelled.

"Hey, Jesse," I said, regaining my breath as I sat up.

"Where in the world have you been?" Ayden asked quietly.

"Places," I told him. That was another conversation for another time. Hopefully not a time too near. I stood up, and brushed the invisible dirt off of me.

"Oh," Jay said, remembering something, "Miyavi, this is Kai." I looked up at the mention of the name. Kai was sitting at the table, watching me. The silence hung in the air, as we stared at each other. Jay looked between the two of us, trying to find out what was going on.

The silence was broken by the sound of the doorbell.

"PIZZA!" Jesse yelled, running out of the room. Jay rolled his eyes, and left, dragging Ayden with him. The room was empty now, except for us.

"So," he said awkwardly, almost subconsciously playing with a pencil on the table. I pulled out a chair, and sat down across from him.

"So you're the 'awesome' guy that I'm supposed to meet?" I asked, smirking. The awkwardness seemed to evaporate at the small joke.

"Yeah, I guess so," he laughed.

"Always one step ahead of them." I smirked. Just like old times.

I was a little surprised that Kai was hanging around with Jay and them. He wasn't really the kind of person they hang with. Kai was nice, innocent enough, and didn't use. He didn't even smoke. He was normal.

Ayden ran into the kitchen holding three pizza boxes. A few seconds later, Jesse came in, chasing Ayden. Kai and I exchanged looks.

"Ayden! Come back here with those!" Jesse yelled. Ayden laughed.

"Gonna have to catch me first!" They ran around the kitchen, while Kai and I watched. Jaymus came in, and took one look at the situation and decided to put it to an end.

"AYDEN! JESSE!" he yelled. They stopped on the spot, looking at Jay with wide eyes. "Stop fooling around, and bring that food over here. We're all hungry." Jaymus sat down, and we all stared at him. He looked at us. "What?" Silence. "Hey, I'm hungry." The whole room burst out laughing.

Everybody rushed to get enough pizza before everyone else, causing a huge mess of cheese, pepperoni, and sauce all over the table.

We all gathered in the living room. Jaymus and Kai sat on the couch, Ayden sat in the chair, and Jesse and I sat in front of them.

Putting in a movie, we all sat and ate quietly. It was a surprise that nobody had pulled out any gear yet. Perhaps it was because Kai was here, but I doubt it. They don't care who they get high with, or how they get their next fix. I can't believe I almost started to enjoy hanging around with these people! I got a sick feeling in my stomach as I thought about this.

"I don't feel so good," I told them, and rushed to the bathroom.

Closing the door, I ran some water, and tried to calm down. Splashing some water on my face, I took a deep breath. Should I leave? NO. At least these people are somewhat decent. What is so different between these people, and the one's I'm living with? At least these people have fun, and talk to me. They don't ignore me like the others do.

Drying my face, I went back to the living room. I stopped in the hallway when I heard them talking.

"He's looking really bad, isn't he?" I heard Ayden say.

"Yeah. I don't think he's telling us everything," Jesse replied.

"Maybe I should let him stay here with me for a while," Jaymus considered, "who knows WHERE he's staying now." Stay with Jaymus? I don't know about that. He's nice and every, but it's not like I can just walk away from Aoi. Too dangerous. That would NOT turn out well.

"Are you crazy Jay?" Jesse cut in. Hey! Why would that be such a crazy idea? I'm not THAT bad. "Seriously, Jay. Did you SEE him? He looks terrible!"

"Exactly why we should help him! Who knows? He could be staying at that one dealer's house! You know the one that kills people!"

"God. Not this again! Jay, that's not even true!" Ayden retorted with an annoyed tone.

"It is, too! What was his name again? Something short and weird sounding." Jay spoke. I waited for what would be said next.

"Aoi." I froze at the name that came out of Ayden's mouth. Aoi? A murderer? No way. That's not even possible! He's too nice. He has been gone a lot more, though. Perhaps it's a possibility…no! I refuse to believe it! Aoi would never!

I walked in, ready to tell them off, but stopped at the door when I saw Jaymus and Ayden yelling in each other's face, ready to strangle each other. Jesse's back was facing me, as he tried desperately to break the two up, or even just to stop the two from breaking each other up.

Nobody even noticed me standing there, except for Kai. He got up silently, this going unnoticed by the other three, and pulled me out of the room.

"You do NOT want to go in there," he told me when we went into the kitchen. We sat at the table, and were quiet for a while as we heard the others yelling.

"What's that all about?" I asked. Of course, I already knew, but I didn't want him to know that.

"Nothing much else than what you already know," he told me. I gave him a questioning look. He rolled his eyes. "Don't play dumb. I know you were listening."

"You saw me?"

"No, but I can tell." He told me, now playing with the same pencil from earlier. I took it from him, and set it aside.

"How?" He looked from the pencil to me. He sighed.

"For one, the way you came into the room. Secondly, the way you spoke when you asked why they were fighting. No offense or anything, but you're a terrible actor. It was no wonder they knew you weren't telling them everything. You're just lucky they're too thick to figure out what is actually going on," he smirked at me when he saw my mouth hanging open, "and thirdly, your eyes."

"My…eyes?" I asked skeptically. He nodded.

"Yes. While I have to say, you hide you emotions well; your eyes still show what you're thinking." I smirked. So he can read my mind, can he?

"And what AM I thinking?" I asked, amused. He laughed at my persistence.

"Well, you're thinking that I don't know what I'm talking about," he said, making me smile, "and, you're wondering why I'm here. Why?" I sat back, caught off guard by his question.

"Uh, well, um, nothing against you or anything, but you're not the kind of person they usually hang out with, unless they want something," I told him, feeling slightly guilty. He just shrugged it off.

"I know that."

"Then why do you continue to hang with them?" I asked, confused.

"Because they knew you," he said, only confusing me more, "You ran off so soon last time that I didn't get a chance to really talk to you."

"So," I said, trying to figure this out, "the only reason that you're friends with them is because of me?"

"Yeah."

"Oh," I said. Why? "So what else am I thinking?" Thankful for the change in subject, Kai sat back, and relaxed.

"Well, you're mad about what they said about that dealer, Aoi." I nodded silently. He looked at me, almost confused. Okay, you can look away any time now. Why are you still looking at me like that? Alright, starting to get uncomfortable.

Suddenly, he looked as if he had just figured out a difficult riddle.

"That's it!" he exclaimed, staring at me like I'm crazy.

"W-What?" I asked, only slightly afraid.

"I couldn't figure out why you would be upset about it, but it's so obvious now!"

'What's obvious? Upset about what?"

"About Aoi!" Uhoh. I don't want to talk about this. I do NOT want to talk about this. I. Do. Not. Want. To.

"You know him, don't you?" Crap. Okay, let's see. How am I going to get out of this? After a few moments, where we sat in silence, I spoke.

"Yes." There is no point in trying to hide it. He didn't say anything. Should I say something?

"So," he finally said, looking like he was still deep in thought, "so you know him. Wow. Uh, okay. How?" I shrugged. I don't want to tell him that I lived with Aoi. That would be terrible. They think he's a murderer.

"Um, here and there."

"That's a lie. You're close to him. Tell me," he said, fixing his glare directly to me. How does he know these things? I sighed.

"You really want to know? FINE!" I said, getting pissed off; raising my voice, "I LIVE with Aoi! I work for him!" Silence. Uhoh! I did not just do that! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Kai was starting at me, eyes wide, and the bickering from the other room had stopped.

What have I done? This cannot end well. I wasn't supposed to be here in the first place, and now they all know something that NOBODY was supposed to find out. That I was staying with Aoi. This is very dangerous.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"What did you say?" Ayden asked from the doorway, astonished.

"Um, nothing," I said, hoping that they hadn't heard me. There was no doubt that Kai had heard since I yelled it into his face.

"You're living with Aoi?" Jesse asked, incredulously. I sighed. So they HAD heard. There was no avoiding it now.

"Yeah," I replied, defeated. They stared at me. The silence was too much. I couldn't stand it.

"Y-You work for Aoi?" Ayden asked; the fear in his voice was evident.

"Look, I'm not a murderer! And neither is Aoi!" I told them, vindicating both Aoi and myself. They obviously didn't believe a word that I was telling them. I was expecting one of the two to say something, but was surprised when a third voice spoke up.

"How do we know that?" Jaymus asked coldly, leaning against the banister, arms crossed, with a sour expression. I looked at him. Come on, Jay, you're the only one who will believe me. Please understand.

"You know me. I wouldn't kill anyone!" I defended my position.

"Do we REALLY?" he asked, "Do we REALLY know you?" I looked at him, confused. My confusion must have shown on my face. Jay sighed, and took a step forward, taking his weight off of the railing. "In all the time we went to school, you never told us anything about you. Now you've been gone for three months. Who knows what you've been doing."

"You've got to be kidding me," I said, slightly upset that even Jay didn't believe me.

"Miyavi, you know that we were happy to see you again," he said. Wait, 'were'? Why 'were'? Why not 'are'? "But, I think it's time that you left." This is ridiculous. He cannot be serious.

Apparently he was VERY serious, since I found myself walking down the street alone. I had missed the last bus back to my neighborhood, so I had to walk.

I thought I had heard someone following me, but didn't care, so I didn't bother looking behind me. The footsteps continued, and I found it very annoying since they were constantly getting closer and closer as I proceeded down the sidewalk.

Finally, I got sick of putting up with this jerk. Turning around, I nearly ran into Kai. Surprised, I looked down at him, as he caught his breath, obviously he had been running to try and catch up with me.

"Kai?"

"You…are very…fast," he said in between breathes.

"What are you doing here?

"What? You think I was going to stay there with those jerks? Think again," he told me with a small smile. I continued to study him silently. He appeared to be telling the truth.

"So you believe me?" I asked.

"Well, are you a murderer?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Then I believe you." I didn't really understand his logic, but I was glad to have somebody on my side.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Now why don't you tell me what's all going on?"

"Everything/" it was a long story. I don't know if he was willing to listen to all of it. I don't know if I was willing to tell him all of it.

"Yes, everything, and don't worry. You can tell me anything. I won't tell anybody, even if I had somebody to tell," he reassured me. I sighed. Kai had a trustworthy personality. Plus, I have needed to talk to somebody for a while now, and I couldn't really talk to Aoi. He was nice, but he wasn't really a sympathetic person. The three goons I lived with I didn't trust at all. They could disappear, and I wouldn't care.

"Alright, but it's a long story," I warned him.

"That's fine. We have a very long walk ahead of us," he replied.

We walked through the dimly lit streets, taking our time. I told him of my dad, and of John and Stacy. I talked to him about Bailey, and he was pleasantly surprised to hear about our similar connections between ourselves and our younger siblings.

We walked for hours through the city towards my neighborhood, while I told Kai every little tiny horrible detail of my life. Kai listened quietly, and rarely spoke unless he had a question. He didn't laugh at the sad times, or criticize any decisions I made, which was a refreshing change. Nobody had every listened to me like Kai did that night.

At the end of the block we stopped. He looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"You probably shouldn't go any farther. Walking alone here is dangerous when you live here and even more so when you don't," I explained. He seemed to understand.

"Well, good luck with Aoi, and those other three. If you ever need to talk, I'll listen, ok?"

"Yeah. Thanks. I'll make sure not to lose this," I said, putting the piece of paper that had Kai's number written on it in my pocket.

You better not," he warned, smiling.

We said our goodbyes, and I walked home. Sneaking in was the hard part. I used the small door on the side of the garage, and snuck through the hallway. The goons had already left for some job they had tonight, and the house was silent.

I changed back into my clothes, and folded Aoi's clothes best I could before quietly walking down to Aoi's room. I was just about to turn the knob when I heard hushed whispers coming from inside the room.

"Why doesn't he have the money?" I heard Aoi's voice question, "well, I don't care if he has to have surgery." He must be on the phone with someone, probably Raphael. "Deal with him. No, I don't want any evidence. Well, I don't know, Bury it," he said. There was a pause. ", and I care why? Just kill the guy, and get it over with!"

I backed away from the door. I did not just hear that. No, I probably just misinterpreted the conversation. I did only hear half it. I'll just put his clothes back later, when he's not there.

The next few days past by as normal, and I tried to forget the one-way conversation I had overheard coming from Aoi's room. I haven't spoken to Jay or any of those guys since that night. I suppose it would be best to just let them be for a little while to let them calm down.

The next day, however, I had run into Kai downtown, and we had hung out for a while. We got a coffee from the café on fifth street, and sat and talked for a good couple hours.

He had surprise me when he brought up heroin. We had moved to a quieter, less populated area before I had agreed to say anything about that.

"Why do you do it?" he had asked. I thought about how to respond to this question.

"It's a way to escape from everything that's going on," I told him. It was the truth, at first.

At first it had such a great rush. Such an amazing euphoria, and it always helped me to relax. It had made me feel more apt to do things. Now, it was different. I didn't get the high I used to. It was no longer a recreational activity. I no longer got the euphoria that I used to. Now, I needed it just to make it though the day. Without my daily fix, I got sick, and could barely move. "I need it."

"Do you? Really?" he questioned. What kind of a question was that? Didn't I just tell him that I needed it? "I don't think that YOU need it. Your body might need it, but YOU could definitely do without it." Who was he to tell me what I do and don't need? I'm Miyavi! Nobody tells me what to do, and what not to, except me!

"What do you kno--," I started to tell him off, but was cut off as he spoke again, this time slightly louder.

"I know you, and I know that this stuff is killing you!" that caught me off guard.

"So?" I responded, since I didn't really think of anything else to say.

"SO? You've got to be kidding me! Don't you care enough about yourself to try and fix this? Enough to TRY and stay alive?"

"No," I said simply. He glared at me for a moment.

"Well, I do. I'm not going to sit back, and watch you kill yourself. I'm going to help you get out of this mess."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

"What mess? I'm in no mess. I am perfectly fine," I told him, trying to prove him wrong.

"No, you're not. Take a look at yourself."

"What's wrong with me?" I said, slightly offended.

"You hair's a mess, your eyes are pretty much bloodshot, and your arms," he said, pulling one of my arms to show me, "your arms have sores all over them from needles," he told me. I looked at the pink spots silently, "and you look really sick. Miyavi, I'm worried about you."

I listened silently. Was I really that bad? I had never noticed it before, but there were a lot of scars on my arms, and I haven't had a haircut in months, which is not good because my hair grows FAST. I had been feeling bad these past few weeks, and I guess it shows. It doesn't make sense, though. Why would Kai be worried about me? It's been weeks since that incident at Jaymus' house, and Kai and I had kept in contact. Even so, we had never talked about heroin.

"Help me," I said quietly. I had realized my problem, but what was I supposed to do about it? He looked up at me, not sure if he heard correctly. I looked back sheepishly.

"Are you sure you actually want help? Seriously?" he asked, for reassurance. I nodded. "Well, alright. First things first, you need to move out of Aoi's, and stop working for him."

"No."

"You have to," he told me.

"I can't."

"Why not?" he asked, a slight annoyance in his voice.

"It's not that simple," I answered, trying to find the least complicated way to explain it to him.

"Well then, tell me. Why isn't it?" he said crossing his arms, waiting.

"You can't just walk out on Aoi. With all the illegal stuff that he does, he won't want to take the risk of someone going to the police, or another dealer."

"Yeah, so? What can he do about it?" he asked.

"Lots of things," I answered, "including murder."

"I thought you said Aoi WASN'T a murderer," Kai questioned, concerned.

"At the time, I didn't think he was, but that night I overheard Aoi talking on the phone, and," I stopped. I couldn't even say it. I still didn't want to believe it.

"So, he is?" Kai asked, not needing me to finish the sentence I had started.

"Yeah," I said, solemnly. I was waiting for him to get angry at me for 'lying' to him, and walk away, leaving me to deal with things by myself, but he didn't.

"Well, that's definitely going to be a roadblock, isn't it?" he said. I looked up. He seemed deep in thought. So, he wasn't mad at me? That doesn't make sense.

"Wait, you're not mad at me?"

"For what?"

"Telling you that Aoi wasn't a killer when he actually was," I said, feeling even guiltier saying it.

"It wasn't your fault. You didn't know," he reassured me.

"Oh." He smiled at me.

"Now we have to figure out what we're going to do to get you out of that house."

We planned and planned. It wasn't until hours later that we had a plan, and were ready to put it to action.

When we stood outside Aoi's house, it was a James Bond Theme Song moment. The adrenaline was rushing through our veins. Taking a deep breath, we prepared ourselves for what we were about the attempt.

"Alright. So go in and out as fast as you can, and don't be seen!" Kai said, turning to me.

"Where will you be?" I asked him

"After your out, get into my car. I'll already be talking to him," he explained. I nodded.

I snuck in through the back door, and walked quietly down the hallway. I stopped when I heard voices. Aoi and Raphael were talking as they walked down the foyer. I panicked, and quickly hid in the hallway closet. I listened quietly as they passed.

"Are you sure?" Aoi spoke.

"Positive. I saw him come out," Raphael told him Aoi looked slightly put down by this, and ran his fingers through his nicely kept black hair.

"That's too bad. I always thought that he had some potential. I can't believe this," he said. His voice held a mixture of disappointment and anger.

"I saw it with my own eyes. Mason and Luke had gone on that job because I had to stay here, and I saw that kid go into your room when he thought that nobody was looking." Raphael confirmed. I swear my heart had skipped a few beats when I heard him say that.

"Did he take anything?" Aoi asked. I didn't listen to anymore. I already knew what the answer was, and I didn't want to hear it. I was starting to get a sick feeling in my stomach, and I was forced to lean against the wall until they left.

Once they did, I quietly snuck out of the closet, and continued into my room. I quickly packed my stuff into my bag. I threw pictures into it, as I moved around the room collecting my stuff. Emptying my drawers, I found my needles and syringes. I just looked at them for a moment. What was I doing? I was tricking somebody who let me stay in their house, gave me a job, and for what? To try and give up something that I like? That doesn't make sense.

I sat down on my bed, and pondered this point. I was doing perfectly fine until Kai came along. I was doing fine until he showed up looking for his sister. His sister who was the same age as Bailey. I was perfect before he came. Stupid innocent Kai. He just HAD to get involved.

Then it dawned on me. Kai was innocent. He has a perfect family, perfect parents, perfect grades, so why would he put that at risk by trying to help me? I felt guilty now to ever doubt him.

I hurried, and packed the rest of my stuff. I was about to leave when I realized I forgot my dad's guitar. I looked under the bed where I usually kept it so that I didn't get wrecked. It wasn't there. That's not right. Where was it? I searched around the room frantically, looking for it. I began to freak out when I remembered that I had put it in the closet after playing it last. Opening the door, I saw the shiny, black guitar leaning against the wall. Letting out a sigh of relief, I grabbed it, and put it in its case.

I quickly hurried as I snuck out of the window, as planned, and hurried to Kai's car which was parked behind some trees so that nobody from the house could see me when I got into it.

Once safely inside, I looked for Kai. He was at the door, which was open. I couldn't see who it was until they stepped out moments later, closing the door behind him.

Kai and Aoi stood out on the front porch. Aoi wasn't saying anything yet, but Kai was starting on his well-rehearsed routine.

As a major part of our plan, Kai was to tell Aoi that I had 'died' in an accident out of the city. The story was that I had tried to leave the city, and had packed my stuff, and left. I had then died in the accident.

Now, I saw Aoi's expression, and guessed that Kai had told him. Aoi had never really been an 'emotional' person, and that didn't stop now. Aoi's face held little change other then slight surprise, and a tiny bit of anger, which he hid well.

Kai walked back down the steps, and walked the opposite way down the street. This was part of our plan. He would walk the other way so that Aoi couldn't watch him, and see me. He would walk around the block, and then to the car.

Aoi was now inside, and I sat there waiting. I was actually quite tired. I hadn't gotten the best sleep last night, and I had been up since early in the morning. I yawned, and rested my head against the window. Kai will be back any moment.

I ended up falling asleep. When I awoke, the car was moving, and Kai was driving. I sat up, and stretched.

"Good morning," Kai joked, smiling as he continued to drive.

"Where are we going?" I asked, groggily, still half asleep.

"My house."

"Oh," I said, before registering what he said, "what?"

"You're going to be staying at my house. My mom used to work at a rehab centre, and she said that you can stay with us," he explained.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I was expecting to go to a centre, or dry out place, but not his house.

"Yeah. Why?" he asked, turning his head to look at me.

"Never mind," I said, shaking my head. Kai's house was on the far end of the city, in an area called Sun Hills Estate. We stopped at a pair of large metal gates, and Kai had to enter a password before they opened.

My eyes widened as we drove past streets and streets of large houses. This was the richest part of the city. You have to be really wealthy to live in this area. The houses here were multi-million dollar homes, each with their own pool. Some even had two; an indoor one, and an outdoor one.

We drove down the road, and I watched the houses grow larger and more luxurious. We turned onto the last road on the right, and drove down a large, winding road until we reached another pair of gates. These ones were a shiny metal, and were connected to a tall wall that surrounded the property.

After punching in another password, we drove up to the biggest house I had ever seen. Four stories tall, marble staircase, and a double doorway. The property was huge. There was a stable on the right, and horses in the pasture. On the left there was a tennis court, where two people were playing at the moment. Kai saw me watching, and turned to see what I was looking at.

"Oh, that's my brother, Miku, and my sister, Alanah, who you haven't met yet," he explained. I nodded.

We drove into the large garage next to three other cars. There was a black Aston martin, a black corvette, and a yellow mustang GT.

Kai led me through the garage door, and into the elaborate house. It was open, and bright. It was almost exact opposite of anywhere that I'd ever lived in my life. It was definitely an upgrade from Aoi's place.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

We took off our shoes, and proceeded through the large manor. Everything was so clean, I felt out of place.

"It's so big," I stated, looking around the foyer open-eyed. In front of me, there was a large grand staircase that led up to the second floor. Looking up, you could see each level of the house surrounded by a white railing.

"You like it. I figured you would," Kai told me, "you can just leave your stuff here. We'll bring it up later." I nodded, leaving my bag by the stairs, but keeping my guitar on my back. "You can leave that there, too. It won't get damaged or anything," Kai pointed out.

"That's ok," I replied defensively. He looked like he was about to say something, but was interrupted by somebody else.

"Kai! You're home," an attractive middle aged woman spoke as she descended down the stairs.

"Hey mum," Kai responded, hands in his pockets. I stood there quietly, feeling slightly ashamed at how I looked compared to them. I did kind of stick out with long hair, and looking like I've been living on the streets for a good amount of time.

"Ah, you must be Miyavi," she said, causing me to look up.

"Oh, um, yeah," I stuttered. Ste smiled warmly, and put a hand on my shoulder, cause even more awkwardness.

"Well, welcome to the family." Wait, family? I don't want to be here forever. How long are they expecting me to stay here? I didn't know the answer to that, so I just remained silent until I could find an answer.

"Your room's on the second floor. Kai will show you there. It's easy to get lost here if you don't know your way around," she told me. I nodded, and she walked outside.

"Let's go then," Kai said happily. We picked up my stuff, and headed up the large stairs. Kai talked endlessly about things that we would be doing. I think he said something about getting a haircut.

My room was large, and had a king sized bed with brown and gold sheets, and a big comforter. I walked over to the window. I could see past the open back yard, past the forest, until the mountains met with the sky.

"Wow," I said in awe. The sun was setting, giving the scene a gold tint. Kai smiled.

"I'll let you unpack," he said, then turned and walked out the room, closing the door.

I sat down on the bed, placing my guitar against the wall. I sighed, and fell back, looking up at the ceiling which was painted to look like clouds. So this is it? I'm here in this huge house, and I'm going to quit what had become the most important thing in my life.

A few hours later, which only felt like minutes, there was a knock on the door. Pulling myself off the bed, I opened the door to see Kai's mom standing there.

"Dinner's ready if you want to come down," she told me happily, though she must have seen my reluctance since she then said, "but you don't have to. I can get Kai to bring some food up for you if you want."

"No, it's ok. I'm not that hungry. I actually just want to get some sleep, if that's ok?"

"Yes, that's fine. Remember, this is your house just as much as it is ours now," she spoke warmly, almost like she actually cared.

"If you say so," I replied quietly. Why should she care? I was just Kai's doped up friend that she has to deal with now.

"I hope you like it here, Miyavi," she said, smiling, "Goodnight."

"'Night," I said, closing the door once she left. I walked back to my bed, where my bag was sitting. I opened it, taking out my clothes that I had earlier stuffed in hurriedly while trying to leave. I didn't have many clothes, only what I had managed to grab when I first got kicked out. I put what clothes I had into the cherry wood dresser, and went to put my guitar in the closet.

I was surprised to find the closet filled with clothes, all in my size or close to it.

"She insisted on getting clothes for you," I heard Kai say from behind me. He must have come in just now.

"How'd she know what size I was?" I asked, looking over the different outfits.

"That was me. I helped her with sizes. Besides, I figured I had a better idea on what you would like," he explained. I just nodded. "Um, mum told me that you said you weren't hungry, but I brought some food up for you anyways. I put it on the end table."

"Thank you," I said quietly, staring at my feet.

"You're welcome. Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow," Kai said before leaving. I looked at the food on the end table. There was a bowl of chicken soup, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut in half. It looked appetizing, but I didn't really feel like eating. I just laid down, and feel asleep almost immediately.

The next day I woke up, having the best sleep I've had in a long time. The food that was on the end table the night before was gone now, and a plate with eggs and fruit took its place. I ate some fruit, and went into the closet to look through the new clothes for something to wear.

There were some clothes there that I liked, but I didn't want to wear any of them now. I picked a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt from my clothes, got dressed, and headed downstairs.

I wandered into the living room, where I found Kai's older sister watching TV. What was her name again? I don't remember. She looked up when I sat down.

"Oh, good morning. You're Miyavi, right? I'm Alanah," she said smiling. I nodded. "If you want to know, Kai and Miku are outside." I nodded again. She shifted uncomfortably. "Rachel went out to get some food."

"Who?"

"My mom," she explained. So Rachel was the lady I had met yesterday.

"Oh," I replied, "Um, I'm going to go find Kai."

"Ok, but I think they're playing basketball out back, so be warned."

"Warned?" I asked. What did she mean by that?

"They play hard. It's scary sometimes how they get," she explained.

I walked out the door, and started to walk around the house, which took a long time since the house was so large.

I could hear Kai and Miku talking in excited voices. This was going to be interesting. Turning around the corner, I saw them on the court, running around with the orange ball.

I walked up, and sat on the grass beside the court, and watched them. Kai was running up the court with Miku chasing him. Taking the shot, Kai missed, and the ball came towards me.

"Whoa," I said, catching the ball, "Careful." I smiled.

"Sorry," Kai said, walking over to me, trying to catch his breath. His hair stuck to the sides of his face, and there were tiny droplets of water that hung on his eyelashes.

"No problem," I reassured him, spinning the orange ball in my hands, feeling the grip over the surface. I had not held one of these for two years now. Not since Heroin had become such a big part of my life.

"You wanna play?" Miku asked, coming up behind Kai with a bottle of water. Miku looking a lot like Kai, except older, and slightly more knowing. As if he holds the secret of life, but wouldn't tell anybody.

"I dunno. I haven't played for a while," I said, passing the ball back to Kai.

"That's ok. We'll go easy on you," Miku smirked. They looked at me expectantly. I sighed. It couldn't hurt to play one game, I guess. I stood up, and walked over to them.

"One game," I told them. Kai smiled.

"You can go against Miku. I'll sit out this game," Kai said, going over to the grassy area.

Miku and I stood in the middle of the court, facing each other. Miku threw the ball in the air, and I was able to easily snatch it out of the air. Racing down the court, I shot the ball right into the net.

Looking back, I saw Kai and Miku staring at me.

"What?" I asked, curious as to their surprise.

"I thought you said you haven't played in a while!" Kai said, astonished.

"I haven't played in two years," I told truthfully.

"Well then," Miku said, picking up the rolling basketball, "I guess I won't need to be easy on you then." Was that a challenge?

We started again, and it became a race up and down the court. Shot after shot after shot. Point after point after point. I had won the game within minutes.

I sat down, catching my breath and watched as Miku told Kai about the game. Kai had gone inside to get something to drink, and was surprised to come back and find the game over so quickly.

'How'd you do that?" Kai asked, astonished.

"I used to play a lot, before…" I trailed off, not wanting to bring up the drug that had taken over my life.

"Oh, I see. Well, why don't you try out for the team at school once mum enrolls you?" Kai suggested. Wait, did I just hear that right?

"School?" I asked, hoping that I had heard wrong. However, I had heard correct, much to my disappointment.

"Yeah. Mum's putting you in our school. She figures it would be a good idea. Something about a proper education, and not running off looking for trouble," Kai explained.

"Oh. That's just great," I said sarcastically.

"Hey, it's not that bad. Don't worry about it," Kai told me. I looked up at him. No, not Kai. Not my Kai. The school's brainwashes my Kai, too? That only brought my spirits down more.

The next day Rachel took me to my new school for my first day. I didn't want to go, but I had no choice in the matter. At least I didn't have to wear a uniform. That is the ultimate sacrifice for me, and I would've refused to do so. Almost all my freedom had been taken from me by placing me in this school. They weren't going to take this away from me.

I wore my dark blue ripped jeans, and attached many chains to them. I wore a white muscle shirt, and a red sleeveless hoodie. This accompanied with my lip piercing and tattooed hands. I looked very different. My uneven hair was straightened, and eyeliner applied lightly. I don't like looking like a raccoon, thank you very much.

Grabbing my backpack from the closet, I head downstairs. Putting my hood up, I walked into the kitchen. Everybody looked up from the table, and sat down at my spot at the table.

"Whoa," Miku exclaimed, "that's only slightly creepy."

"Miku!" Rachel spoke out, coming to my defense. I frowned. I didn't need her to stick up for me. I can look after myself. I looked at Miku. He was wearing a blue polo shirt, and tan pants. Oh. My. God. He's one to talk.

"Nice outfit," I mocked. I put the last of my breakfast in my mouth, placing the dishes in the sink, and left the room.

In the car, I put my IPod on, and ignored the others. Cherry Saki Yukki by An Café started playing, and I turned it up so that I couldn't hear anything else.

We drove, and I never averted my eyes from the window. I could feel Miku's hard gaze on my, but I refused to turn around.

When we pulled up to the school, I grabbed my backpack, and got out of the car. Walking to the door, I heard Kai come up behind me.

"Miyavi?" I nodded to acknowledge that I was listening.

"Don't worry about Miku. He's just being a jerk," he told me. I looked at him.

"I don't care what Miku thinks about me. I don't really care what anybody else here thinks either," I told him. Kai nodded. I smiled. Kai always managed to make me talk, even when I didn't want to.

Walking into the school, I saw kids walking down the hallway, books in hand. Some stopped, and stared as Kai and I stood there. Good. They should stare. They need to get used to it.

'I'll see you later, alright?" Kai asked, turning to me.

"Yeah," I replied. Kai walked down the hallway, before turning around a corner, making me lose sight of him.

Casually, I walked up to the office, putting my hood up. Snapping my fingers to get the receptionist's attention, I leaned one arm against the counter, and looked down at where the woman was sitting.

'Yes?" she said, looking up at me over her glasses.

"Yes, Mrs.," I stopped, picking up the plastic stand that showcased her name, "Bart. Mrs. Bart." That's one strange name. Fits her perfectly. "I'm Miyavi."

"Right. Grade eleven, then," she said, sorting through some pages, "Here's your schedule." I took the paper from her, and looked at it. Science, Math, Social, LA. All the normal classes. Gym. Photography? Alright. I can deal with that. Perfect class for sleeping. Dark room and everything. P.E plus. Kai must have told Rachel about basketball. I stuffed the paper into my pocket.

'What else?" I looked at her, bored already. She went into the back room, returning with a lock.

"Follow me. I will show you around the school, and to your locker."

"Forget that. Just tell me the number, and the general direction, and I'll figure out the rest."

'Oh, alright. Here you go," she handed me the lock, "two forty five. Down the hallway to your right."

I turned, and lazily walked down the hallway. I unwrapped a piece of gum, and stuck it in my mouth. This school was a pushover. I'll be running it in no time.

I stashed my stuff into the locker, and closet it loudly. A teacher poked their head out of the doorway.

"Young man, where are you supposed to be?" the lady said, hands on her hips. Young man? What was she from the eighteenth century or something? I shrugged.

"I dunno," I said, leaning against the lockers, stuffing my hands into my jean pockets.

"Well, I suggest that you figure it out quickly." She stood there waiting. I sighed. Guess it WAS time I made my first appearance. I took out the now crumpled piece of paper out of my pocket.

"Math. Ms. Kirk," I read. Stuffing the paper back into my pocket, and looked up at the teacher.

"Well, that works out. You must be Miyavi. I should've known. I'm Ms. Kirk. You're in here," she said, motioning for me to follow her. Kicking off the wall, I marched after her. She wants to act like a drill sergeant. I will go along with it.

Upon entering the classroom, I went back to my lazy walk. Looking around the room, I was surprised by what I saw. There were only twelve students in the room, which was small compared to my old school where there were thirty-two.

"There are not very many people in your class," I commented to Ms. Kirk.

"Most of the student's have gone on a trip. These are those who are not allowed to go as punishment," she told me, giving them an evil look. A punishment? Perfect! These are the people that are easiest for me to get to do anything. They're not afraid to take the chance, and they know how not to get caught.

I was told to sit at the spot near the front. As soon as she turned her back though, I moved to an empty seat at the back.

"I wouldn't sit there if I were you," a boy said, turning around .I stared him down with an uncaring look, but he didn't even seem to notice. I put my pencil on the desk, and sat up. Leaning forward towards him, I stared him right in the eye with an amused smirk.

"And why not?" I dared him to answer. Quite a risk taker this kid seems to be.

"Because that's Ruki's seat. He won't like you sitting in his spot," the kid explained.

"Who is this 'Ruki'?" I asked interested as to who this was and why he was so important.

"Ruki's the head guy here. Nobody can stand up to him. He basically controls the school." Ah, competition! No problem. This guy sounds like a pushover.

"Does he smoke?" I asked.

"Yeah," he responded, sounding as if it was the best thing anybody has done.

"Does he use?" The boy laughed.

"Dude, EVERYBODY in this room uses. The only people who don't are gone on that retard trip."

"I see," I spoke, contemplating this. Leaning back, I crossed my arms. This is going to be so easy! This Ruki guy actually sounds a lot like me, which is even better. It makes it easier to know your enemy.

The young guy I was talking to earlier was Kanon. We talked more throughout the class, and he told me all the names of the people in the classroom.

Around half way through, the class was interrupted as kids started entering the room. A blonde girl explained to the teacher that they had come back from the trip early.

I watched with little interest as the empty desks began to fill up. The room instantly went quiet as a slim boy with medium length blonde hair, and cold eyes walked in. he wore tight fitting black jeans and a white dress shirt. A silver chain hung around his neck, and he had an eyebrow piercing that contrasted with his hair.

I watched, with newfound interest, as the boy stood at the door, scanning over the room. Everybody, including Kanon, avoided eye contact with him. He seemed to enjoy that fact, smirking as he looked over the room. That was, until he saw me.

I made sure that I looked him right in the eye as he saw me, leaning back in the chair, arms crossed, smirking. He stared at me for a second, surprised, before walking over to me.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

"You must be the new guy," he said, standing over me. I nodded, staring him down. He didn't even seem affected.

"Well, then I'll give you a break since Kanon probably FORGOT to tell you," he said, smacking Kanon across the head, "but that's my seat."

"I know it's your seat," I said simply. His eyes narrowed as he looked at me, and his voice grew cold.

"Well, then you should also know that _nobody_ sits in MY seat," he glared at me.

"Yes, I know that," I replied coolly. I was also well away that the entire class was listening to us, and the teacher was unaware of anything going on.

"Look here, who do you think you are--," he was cut off by the shrill voice of the teacher.

"Ruki! Sit down, and stop making a disturbance!"

"I would ma'am, but he's in my spot!" Ruki said, pointing towards me. Wow. Behold your leader. This is too easy.

"Miyavi, I told you to sit at the front. Please move," she persisted.

Standing up, I walked over to the teacher. I leaned on her desk, and spoke to her quietly so that nobody else could hear.

"Ms. Kirk, I have to sit at the back or else I won't be able to read what's on the board," I lied.

"Oh, alright," she reassured me, "Ruki! Sit at the front please." Everybody was staring, shocked, as I walked back to my desk. Ruki was now talking angrily to the teacher, but it was obvious that he was losing.

"What did you say?" Kanon asked, bewildered.

"I just said that I couldn't read the board at the front, and she fell for it," I explained to him.

"Nice," he said.

Throughout the say, I rotated through different classes, and meeting the rest of the people from my class. They were amazed at how I had gotten Ruki to move. I smiled to myself. I do the smallest thing, and already I've got them following me around.

At lunch, we sat at one of the tables in the lunch room. Most of the kids who didn't go on the trip were Ruki's followers. Now they were all sitting around me at the table, except for a few who sat with Ruki.

"So your name's Miyavi?" a kid named Bou asked. I nodded.

"Yep."

"That's original," another guy named Teruki said. They were so exited that they barely even noticed that I wasn't paying attention anymore. I was scanning the lunchroom for Kai. He was sitting with two other guys who were looking at me with slight annoyance. I wondered why. I haven't met them yet.

"Who are they?" I asked Kanon, nodding towards the two.

"That's Kyo, Shou and Kai. They're like co-presidents to the Soda pops," he explained. I laughed.

"Soda pops? Who or what is that?" I asked. It sounded so ridiculous.

"That's what the higher end students are called. They don't like it, but we don't like them, so it all works out." Hold up. A war between these people and Kai? That's not good.

"So, what do you use?" Bou took me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" Everyone laughed.

"What kind of stuff do you take?" he asked again. Apparently, they had been trying to ask me that for a while.

"Heroin…" I asked carefully.

"Same. All of us do," they spoke quietly, keeping their eyes on the lookout for teachers.

"Where you get it?" I asked, just out of curiosity.

"Aoi. You?" I didn't reply. What was I supposed to say? I couldn't tell them that I got it from Aoi. Aoi was supposed to think I was dead.

"A guy named Reita, from Washington," I told them. They seemed to take it. It wasn't that hard to believe, since Washington was only an hour or two away.

When school ended, I made sure not to be seen when Rachel came to pick us up. I wonder if she always picks them up after school.

Dropping Kai, Miku and Alanah off at the house, Rachel took me to get a haircut.

"Um…Rachel?" I asked, leaning forward between the two seats.

"Yes?" she asked, smiling.

"Can I change my hair some other way? I kinda like my hair this length." I waited for a response.

"What do you want done? Color?" she asked.

"Something like that," I said.

"Alright."

"Really?"

"Yes, of course."

"Awesome," I said, sitting back in my seat.

We drove to a fancy salon downtown. It was an upgrade from the First Choice I used to go to. In total, it took three hours to do my hair. Rachel waited patiently, and even seemed excited when she heard what I was getting them to do.

While Rachel paid at the front desk, I admired my new multi-colored hair. The bites of red, blue and green stood out against the rest of my hair, which remained brown. I smiled. It was perfect.

On the way home, I sat up front, and talked to Rachel. Mostly about my childhood before John came around. We laughed at some of the things that I remember, including a run away miniature horse. Times were good back then.

We arrived back at the house, and I grabbed my backpack out of the back seat, swinging it as we walked up to the front door. Rachel unlocked it, and we entered the luxurious home.

"Holy crap. A walking rainbow!" I heard Miku say as Rachel closed the door behind us.

"Oh, look. A talking moron," I retorted, smirking, "Nice to see you, too, Miku." He didn't reply; only glared at me, and walked into the kitchen, where everybody was sitting at the table doing homework. You HAVE to be kidding me. These people are messed. I shook my head, and started up the stairs.

"Miyavi, don't you have homework?" Rachel asked. I stopped on the stairs, and turned around.

"Yes," I answered. I knew that her 'nice' appeal was too good to be true.

"We do our homework in the kitchen," she told me. Is she trying to tell me what to do? Good luck with that! I looked through the archway into the kitchen.

"I see that," I said, before I turned around, and proceeded up the stairs, taking two at a time. I closed my bedroom door, throwing my backpack to the floor, and grabbed my dad's guitar from the closet. Playing the guitar always calms me down.

I strummed a few bars before playing an expert solo from one of the Gazette's songs. I escaped through music, and got lost in its world.

I was awoken from my daydreams by a knock on my door. I was going to remain quiet, and hope they went away, but then I thought that it might be Kai.

"Yeah?" I asked, ceasing my playing. The door opened, and Rachel came in, probably coming to nag to me about my schoolwork that I still haven't done. She sat beside me. I stared at the floor, and quietly strummed a few chords.

"Miyavi," she said, voice soft, but still louder than the guitar. Slamming my fingers a little harshly to stop the sound, my eyes narrowed, and I looked up at her.

"What?" I said harshly.

"Is there something bugging you?" she asked, in that same voice.

"Geez, whatever gave you _that_ idea?" I answered, the sarcasm flowing heavily from my voice. She ignored it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

"Not with you," I retorted. She seemed to understand, and left the room quietly. I shifted my focus back to my guitar, and began playing the beginning rift from Led Zeppelin's "_Stairway to Heaven_".

The door opened again, but this time I didn't bother looking up. I could tell by the familiar smell of his cologne, and light steps that it was Kai. I continued to play, mentally keeping track of what Kai was doing.

"Miya," I heard Kai call me. I've never heard that nickname before now. It was the first time Kai had called me anything other than my full name. I liked it. It was Kai's nickname for me. Kai's only. Nobody else is allowed to call me that, except him.

"Yes?" I responded, setting my guitar aside. He seemed kind of…quiet. "What's up?" I said, paying more attention.

"Do you hate me?" he asked in a quiet voice. It caught me off guard. Why would I hate him? He was the closest thing I had to family right now. It wasn't his fault that he happened to be related to a quiet older sister, a know-it-all prep brother, and a two-faced mother. His little sister, Cindy, had gone to her grandparents while I stayed here. Probably didn't want her to be around a screw up like me.

"Of course not, Kai."

"Do you hate me for bringing you here?" Silence. As much as I don't like this family, besides Kai, I don't hate him for bringing me here. It's not his fault.

"No, I'm just not sure that this is the right place for me," I explained, choosing my words carefully.

"What do you mean?" Kai questioned all previous hurt in his voice gone, but lingering there, just waited for the right moment to pop back up.

"I just don't think that any of this is helping," I said, surprised at how true my words were. Kai looked a little hurt, but more than anything, he looked as if he'd do anything to keep me from leaving.

"Miya…please don't," he said, looking up at me with pleading eyes. How I mock thy eyes that hold onto my attention with an iron fist, and yet thine eyes are what I covet the most, for what is a flower without its petals?

"Don't what?" I asked bringing myself out of the daze I was in.

"Don't leave," he asked, looking at me, tears threatening to fall. I was surprised, and hugged him.

"I won't leave," I reassured him, as he clung to me. I was slightly uncomfortable, only because I didn't know what to do. I had never been in this position before, except with Bailey. This was DIFINITELY not the same thing. Kai, my Kai, was crying into my shoulder, begging me not to leave. What could I do, but comfort him? I rubbed his back awkwardly.

"Promise?" I heard him ask into my shoulder. I made him look at me.

"I promise." We sat like that for a while, before Kai moved away, wiping his face of the tears.

"Sorry,' he apologized.

"It's ok," I said quietly, sitting there awkwardly.

"I just…didn't want this to turn out like last time," he explained. What did he mean by that? Did he know somebody else that was in the same situation as me? What happened with this person that Kai didn't want happening again? What would be so terrible that it would make Kai this upset?

What happened last time?" I asked cautiously. Kai shook his head.

"It doesn't matter what happened before. You're staying, so there's nothing to worry about," he said, "I'm hungry. Do you want to go get something to eat?" I shook my head. "Ok," he said, before leaving in his hunt for food.

Sighing, I laid back on my bed, and stared at the ceiling. What was going to happen to me? How was I going to stay here, and fight my addiction without hurting Kai? I knew it would be hard, but I couldn't bear to hurt Kai. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did.

I must have been tired, since I found myself being woken up in the morning to a knocking at the door. Sliding off the bed, I stalked over, and opened the door.

"Whoa…you look like you just woke up!" Kai exclaimed. I glared at him tiredly.

"I did," I said, leaning against the doorframe. I heard Kai laugh lightly.

"Well, you have ten minutes to get ready. The bus is going to be here soon," he told me. Ten minutes?!? How am I supposed to get ready in ten minutes?

"Bus?" I questioned. Since when do we take a bus?

"Yeah, mom can't drive us today. She has a meeting to go to," Kai explained.

"Oh." Kai left, and I quickly went through my clothes for something wear. I came across the clothes that I had worn to Jaymus' that night. I still had them? Crap.

Quickly dressing in skinny jeans, and a Billy Talent shirt, I straightened my newly dyed hair. I wondered how everybody else would react. It should be funny to see their expressions when they see me. This thought made me smile.

We stood at the bus stop, and watched as the sun made its progress up the sky, through the clouds. Our stop was the first of the many before reaching the school. I could barely stay awake, and my mind wandered back to thoughts of heroin. If I had some of that to keep me awake, I might actually make it through the day without falling asleep. I wondered where I could get some nearby.

The bus stopped in front of the school, and the people began filing off the bus, eager to get out of the stuffy space.

I walked into the school, and to my locker. I saw people's shocked stares as I walked past them. Smirking as I pulled books out of my locker, and shut the door, I felt amazed at how easily shocked these people get.

I saw Ruki glaring at me from down the hallway, and decided to go see what his problem was. I walked down the hallway, and stopped in front of him. I could feel everybody's eyes on me as I spoke to him.

"Hello, Ruki. Funny seeing you here," I said to him.

"Why?"

"It's a wonder they even let you in. school's are for people with brains." I could hear the quiet snickering behind me. I saw Ruki stare angrily at me, before responding.

"Then why are you here?" This caused more stifled snickers from the group of people that were now forming a rather large crowd around us. I remained silent.

"I'm here to show you that you're not as tough as you think," I retorted. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

"You can try," he scoffed, crossing his arms.

"I don't need to try," I said, smirking as his expression grew angrier by the second, "you prove it yourself."

"We'll see about that. Meet me today after school."

"Name your place." This should be interesting. A test of strength between Ruki and I. the whole school is going to be there watching. This worries me only slightly because Kai will be there. I don't want him getting hurt.

Ruki and I planned to meet on the roof of the school. Until then, I sat through the classes, planning each move that I would make, and predicted what he would do. When I walked through the hallway, people stopped me to wish me luck. I told then thanks, but I don't rely on luck.

At lunch, Kai came up to me with a worried expression. He must have heard about the fight planned for after school.

"Miya, don't do it," he begged me. I sighed. I didn't want to upset Kai, but I had to go through with it now.

"I'm sorry. I have to," I explained to him.

"No, you don't. Just call it off. Please?" Kai was really worried about this. It was easy to see.

"Why are you so worried about this?" I asked, genuinely concerned about him. He looked around, not really wanting to talk about this with other people so near, mainly Miku. I gently pulled him out to behind the school.

"Talk to me," I said, when we had stopped.

"Look, Ruki's stronger than he looks," he told me with a pained expression. Why does it hurt him so much to talk about this?

"And you know this from experience?" He remained silent. "Kai, what happened?" He was silent for a moment before answering.

"Ruki was another person that we tried to help," Kai explained. Tried? As in unsuccessful?

"What happened?" I asked again. I didn't even care that the bell had rung. Kai didn't even notice.

"Ruki and I got very close," he continued. Ruki and Kai? Close? No way.

"What kind of close?" I asked. Kai didn't reply, but stared at the ground, blushing. Oh. _Oh. _OH. "Oh. I see." Kai didn't look up as he spoke.

"But things started going wrong. We couldn't stop him from leaving at night, and when I tried to talk to him about it, he'd get violent." Ruki hurt Kai? Now he's REALLY going to wish he'd never agreed to this fight. My anger must have showed on my face, because Kai immediately said, "Miya, don't do anything drastic because of this, please?"

"Did he hurt you?" Kai nodded hesitantly. My anger grew. I was going to kill Ruki for this. "How?" Silence. "Kai? How'd he hurt you?" Still more silence. "Kai, you know that there are meetings you can go to."

"NO," his voice suddenly rung out, catching my attention, "I am NOT going to some stupid meetings where I'm just going to be treated like the stupid 'rape victim' again!" THAT I wasn't expecting.

"W-what?" my voice quivered as I spoke. For the first time since I met Kai, I couldn't control myself, and let my emotions go, my concern for him showing.

"Look, I have to go. I'm going to be late for class," Kai said quietly, moving past me, and going inside. I stood there for a while, trying to process what I just found out. I didn't go back inside. I sat against the wall at the back of the school until I heard the bell ring, signaling the end of the school day.

I sighed, and stood up. Time to get revenge on Ruki for what he did to Kai. That guy is going to be in the hospital, if not the morgue.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Sorry, this is a bit of a short chapter, but this story is coming to an end. This means, more cliffhangers =D and guess what? Yes, you're worst nightmare. Hot people are going to die. *tear* but that is how the story goes. Hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER 9

Once I was on the roof, it was only minutes before people started showing up. Looking around, I laughed quietly when I realized that more people turned up for the fight then the school's pep rallies.

"Thought you weren't going to show," Ruki said when he emerged from the crowd.

"That shows how smart you are," I laughed, ready for any sudden attack he might use.

"Well, you're not any better. It was a stupid choice to show up," he warned. This made me laugh.

"For you, maybe," I replied. That made Ruki mad, and he lunged towards me.

Fighting each other off, we tried to get in as many hits as possible. He was a good fighter, but he had some weaknesses. We stepped back from each other, and stared, each planning our next move.

"Miya, don't!" I heard a voice call from the crowd. Kai was standing there, and tears stained his face. I watched him. Ruki had hurt him, and he had to pay for it, but not like this. Kai didn't want me doing this. I couldn't do it.

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt Ruki hit me from the side. I heard Kai yell, and the crowd gasped. Kai ran over to me as I stood up.

"Are you ok?" he asked, helping me up. I nodded, glaring at Ruki, who was staring at Kai with a look that could kill.

"I'm fine," I reassured him.

"Miyavi, please don't do this. You won't win. Please!" Kai begged. I sighed.

"Alright," I told him, giving in. There was no point to fighting anymore.

"Oh, that's just precious!" Ruki mocked, "Are you two together now?" I glared at Ruki as Kai blushed, and quiet snickers were heard from the crowd.

"Ruki, shut your mouth before you say something stupid," I warned.

"Well, I'm just saying. I would've thought you to get together with someone decent, and not this slut."

"That's enough!" A loud voice said through the crowd. The principle pushed his way through the students to where Ruki, Kai, and I stood. "What's going on here?" We all remained silent. Some of the people from the crowd started to leave.

"Nothing, ," Ruki said to the principle, "We were just playing a game is all."

"A likely story," Mr. Lengill said, "You three come with me."

"NO!" Ruki yelled, before running towards us. No, not us. Kai. Seeing what Ruki was planning, I imaged the horror.

"Kai, move!" I yelled, pushing Kai out of the way, leaving me in Ruki's path. Ruki pushed me over the edge of the roof. I felt my feet trip, almost in slow motion. Kai screaming, the crowds gasp; it all went in slow motion, as if I was watching as a bystander, and not the one falling.

My brain kicked in then, and I reached out for something to stop me from going over the edge to the eighteen foot drop. Grasping onto Ruki's shirt, we both went over.

I closed my eyes as I felt the air pass past my face, my hair flying, and prepared to meet my end with the hard sidewalk.

I opened my eyes as I felt a hand grab my arm, and pull me back over. I helped as much as I could by pulling myself back up over the roof's edge.

Collapsing beside my rescuer, all energy used in pulling myself up, I fought to regain my breath. I looked over to see my rescuer, Kai, also catching his breath. Then a thought came to me. Ruki! I lifted myself off the ground, and rushed over to the edge of the building, looking for Ruki.

There he was; lying on the ground, bloody and torn. It was a horrible sight to see, and many turned away as soon as they saw him. I just stared. This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen. This was my entire fault. Ruki didn't fall off the roof, he was pulled; by me. Ruki was a jerk, but he wasn't supposed to die; not like this at least.

I stood there, long after everybody had seen, and Mr. Lengill called an ambulance, but none of that registered in my mind. I just stared, transfixed.

"Miya," Kai said quietly, placing a hand on my arm. I didn't show any signs of hearing him; just remained staring down as the ambulance drove up, along with the police and the fire department.

"Miya, we have to go. We can't stay here," he said, begging me to move; to come with him. Now, thinking back, I feel guilty for being so cold to Kai. He was just trying to help, but at that time nothing got through to me. I stared, but I wasn't actually looking as the police taped off the area, or as the ambulance took Ruki away to the hospital. No, I wasn't looking. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't feeling. I was frozen.

Kai led me away from the edge, and down from the roof. I was asked questions by the police, but not many before Kai told them that I needed rest, and drove me home.

Rachel had rushed out from the kitchen when she heard the door close behind us. Apparently, Miku had told her all that had happened. If I had been paying attention to what was going on around me, I would've applauded Kai for how he stepped up and took responsibility

He led me up to my room, and helped me get ready for bed. Through this whole time I was a zombie; staring out into nothingness. Leaving me wrapped up in the warm blankets in my bed, Kai went downstairs to talk to Rachel.

I felt the tears fall from my eyes, and trail down my face, but I made no move to wipe them away. I began to shake as I let out more emotion than I had in years. Crying, I laid there for hours before exhaustion took over, and I dozed off.

_Walking down the dark downtown streets, I realized that nobody else was there. The streets were empty. The city was lifeless. The world held only silence. I ran desperately in search of somebody; anybody. I called out for Kai. My voice echoed through the streets, and I realized that I was alone._

_ Running through the streets, I found myself standing in a dark alley. I tried to regain my breath when I heard rustling behind me. I turned around but found nobody there._

_ "H-hello?" I called out. I heard something snap behind me, and I turned again. I saw a shadow of something moving._

_ "W-who's there?" I heard heavy breathing close behind me. I turned to see Ruki standing there, bloody just as he had been when the ambulance took him away. He opened his_ _mouth_, _and let out a loud, high-pitched scream._

I sat up with an audible gasp, face wet with sweat. Breathing hard, I realized that what I had just witnessed was a dream, as I was not in the streets, but my own bedroom. However, I wasn't alone.

Kai sat beside me, and calmed me down, handing me a glass of cold water, which I drank quickly.

"Shh, it's ok," he cooed, rubbing my back as I shook uncontrollably. Tears flooded my cheeks as I cried into Kai's shoulder. I hadn't sown true emotion for so long, but I didn't care anymore. I just sat there, and let it out. Neither of us cared that it was three in the morning.

After a while, I sat back, and wiped the tears from my skin.

"I need to go for a walk," I said. He looked at me.

"Okay, we'll go for one tomorrow."

"No, I need to go now," I retorted, "Alone." The expression on his face nearly killed me.

"N-no, y-you can't. Please!" he begged, grabbing my arm.

"Kai, I'll only be gone a little bit, okay? I'll be right back," I said softly. He stared at me for a second, before releasing my arm.

"O-ok," he said, shaking.

"I'll be right back," I told him again before leaving the house. I needed to find Reita. He had moved here from Washington a month ago. I needed a hit. Just one, I promise.

I found h on the outskirts of town. I didn't buy much, just enough to make me forget about Ruki. I need to get that picture out of my head.

I waited about ten minutes after shooting up before I went back home. Kai had fallen asleep waiting for me. Looking at his sleeping form, I felt guilty now for what I just did. I didn't bother waking Kai up; just fell asleep.

I woke up in darkness. Kai was no longer beside me. He must have gone back to bed. I shivered as the wind blew in through my window. That's strange. I don't remember leaving it open. I pulled a sweater over my head.

Going downstairs, I saw the door was open, the wind banging it against the wall. I hurried down, and closed it. What's going on here? I'm sure that I closed the door when I came in. wouldn't Kai have closed it when he went to bed? Something wasn't right.

Turning, I saw a piece of paper taped to the wall. I felt the iciness of the lingering cold air as I slowly walked up to where it was. Somehow, I knew what it was going to saw, and I dreaded it.

_ Thought you could hide from me?_

_ Nice little family you've got here._

_ If you ever want to see them, or your_

_ Little boyfriend again._

He's not my boyfriend.

_Meet me at the pier. You're not important_

_ Enough for them to die for. Hurry. You have_

_ Two hours. Come alone._

It wasn't signed. I let the paper fall from my hand. He took Kai. He took everybody. Aoi took Kai. I rushed out the door, slamming it shut behind me.

On the way out, I grabbed the keys to Miku's Martin Aston. I didn't have a license, but I didn't care. Kai's in trouble.

Speeding down the highway, I focused on nothing but finding Kai. How did Aoi find out I was still alive? How did he find me? Angered, I sped up, ignoring the sounds of the passing cars.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Approaching the pier, I started looking for any signs of them. There was nothing. Come on, Kai. Where are you?

Nearing one hundred and fifty miles per hour, I turned the corner, nearly losing control of the car. Speeding ahead, I saw Aoi standing at the dock with a smirk. Time slowed down as I saw them all sitting behind them, tied up and blindfolded.

I slammed on the brakes, stopping a few feet away from Aoi. I glared at him through the windshield, before getting out.

"You made it! Great!" Aoi said, smiling wickedly. I glared at him. "I was almost starting to think you weren't going to show up. That would've been bad for your little family here." Aoi dragged a knife lightly across Kai's neck while smirking up at me. A tiny line of red appeared across Kai's skin. I wanted so bad to just go over there and save him, but I knew one move and Aoi could easily kill him.

"What do you want, Aoi?" I cut him off from what he was about to say next.

"That was a pretty nasty trick you pulled. You probably thought you were going to get away with it, didn't you?" I didn't answer.

"What do you want?" I repeated. I was not in the mood for wasting time.

"I want to propose a trade. Your life," he said, and then pointed towards Kai and his family with a knife in hand, "for theirs." I stared at him. He can't make me choose between him killing me or them! It seemed an obvious choice to me.

"Ok."

"Miya, no!" Kai yelled out. I looked at him, helpless to say anything to him. He won't understand, but it's the only way.

"Shut up," Aoi said, pressing the point of the knife into his side, leaving a little mark, making Kai whimper.

"Aoi!" I yelled, making him look at me, "Don't touch them, or the deal is off." He smirked, and moved the knife away from Kai. "Let them go."

I watched as Aoi cut the ropes on Rachel, Alanah, and Miku. They hurried away from Aoi.

"Awe, you took MY car. Why?" Miku whined. I ignored him, and watched Aoi as he removed Kai's blindfold. I watched as Kai stared at me, tears in his eyes. Forgive me, Kai, but your life is worth more than mine. Aoi cut the ropes harshly, and kicked Kai forward. I ran to him, and helped him up, glaring at Aoi.

"Are you alright?" I asked Kai. He looked at me, pulled his arms out of my grasp, and walked away from me. Hurt at his actions, I looked at the others for some reasoning as to why he did that. Rachel had gone to talk to Kai, and Miku and Alanah were avoiding eyes contact with me. My attention was pulled back to Aoi as I heard a click behind me.

"Your time is up, Miyavi," Aoi said, holding a silver revolver in his hand. I felt the fear rising in my stomach. This was actually going to happen. As much as I didn't want it to, Aoi was serious. My only comforting thought was that at least I was dying for a good reason. Dying to save Kai. I'd thought about how I would die a lot, but never did I figure this. This was better than a lot of things I had thought might happen.

"Wait," I said, "Just one last thing." Aoi sighed, and gave me a tired look.

"What?" he asked with an irritated voice.

"How did you know?" I asked, curious to know, "How did you know that I was still alive?" Aoi smirked.

"Ah, you see, Ruki was another well paying costumer of mine. When he stopped showing up, I knew something was up. So I did a little research, the paper helped some in this, and I figured out that he had died from falling from an eighteen foot drop; and who was the culprit? Ah, it was you!"

The newspaper! Dammit! They would've had my name in it. Of course, it all seems so obvious now. I'm such an idiot!

I didn't move. I waited for him to shoot me. In a way, I was looking forward to it. To finally escape all this pain. Unfortunately, today was not the time. It was not going to be over that easy. _Of course._

Just as Aoi had pulled the trigger, I saw Kai jump to knock the gun out of his hand. The bullet hit me on my left side. I felt the blow knock me over, and I felt my back hit the pavement.

Sitting up, I put my hand over the wound, feeling the warm blood beginning to soak through my shirt. I looked over, and saw Kai sitting on the ground wide eyed. Aoi had seen the gun beside Kai, and bolted towards it.

"Kai! Grab the gun!" I yelled. I tried to stand up, but pain raced through me, and I settled for leaning against the tire of the car. Kai grabbed the gun beside him, and pointed it at Aoi, who stopped moving.

"Careful kid, you don't know how to handle that," Aoi said to Kai, "Now give it to me before you hurt someone." Kai stared at him, hands shaking as his grip on the gun tightened.

"Don't Kai! Don't give him the gun! Shoot him!" I yelled to him, trying to help him as much as I could. He looked over at me, scared; then back at Aoi.

"You don't want to go to jail, do you?" Aoi asked him. Kai swallowed, hands shaking, and lowered the gun a bit.

"No, Kai! He's trying to trick you! Shoot him!" I told him. Why did Aoi have to say that?

"I-I don't want to go to jail, Miya," Kai said, desperately.

"You won't, Kai. It's self-defense! Please, Kai," I begged, knowing that I probably wouldn't be awake much longer, and I wasn't sure what he would do then.

"NO! Give me the gun!" Aoi yelled at him. Kai frantically looked between the two of us. His hands were shaking even more now. A few tears fell down his cheeks.

"Kai! We don't have the time! Shoot him!" I told him. He shut his eyes tightly, and pulled the trigger.

Aoi, obviously shocked that he would actually shoot, tried to get away, but I couldn't see where. When he fell, and didn't get back up. I guessed that Kai had hit him good enough to kill him.

Kai dropped the gun with an audible gasp, and moved away from it. It was silent for a while before we heard the distant sound of police sirens.

I got up, wincing at the pain, but continued walking towards him.

"Are you ok?" I asked, concerned, as he trembled. He looked up at me.

"I-I killed him. I just killed somebody. I'm going to go to jail…Miyavi," Kai said, stuttering as he stared at Aoi's motionless body.

"You won't go to jail, Kai. I promise," I told him. They won't charge him. It was self defense. "I won't let them."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

The police cars pulled up, lights flashing, along with an ambulance and fire truck. I was brought to the ambulance, and Kai and the others were being questioned. Aoi's body was taken away, and the area was taped off. Kai and the others got into the police cars, and they left a few minutes later.

"Wait, where are they taking them?" I asked a nearby officer.

"They're just going to the station for more questioning," he explained.

"They're not going to be charged, are they?"

"It's not my place to say," He told me, making me frown, "but don't worry. It will most likely just be called as self defense." I nodded, and he continued on his way.

"You're going to have to have surgery to get that bullet out," the paramedic announced.

"What?!" Great; A hospital. Oh, no; blood tests.

I was taken to the hospital in the ambulance. I would've fallen asleep if they hadn't kept asking me such stupid questions. Questions like, if I had any pets, what my favorite sport was, what I liked to do in my free time. I laughed. Wouldn't you like to know?

I was starting to feel really lightheaded as they brought me into the hospital. They brought me into a room with a bright light, and put a mask over my mouth. Breathing deeply, I looked around as people in white surrounded me, wearing cloth masks over their faces. My vision began to blur. I shook my head. No, I can't fall asleep. I needed to wait for Kai. My eyelids grew heavier, and as much as I fought it off, I couldn't stop my eyes from closing. Within a few minutes, I was fast asleep, and oblivious to anything that was going on around me.

A man's voice was talking. He spoke about a murder. He said that it was an act of self defense, and nobody would be charged. I smiled. Then he continued on about the weather. Wait a minute…

I opened my eyes to see the TV on, broadcasting the news. A man was pointing to a screen that was showing rain all week. I groaned. I hated rain.

I looked over to my right, and saw Kai asleep in a chair. I smiled. He must be tired. I wasn't going to wake him, but he did anyways.

"Oh, you're awake!" he said happily, still half asleep.

"Yeah."

"Take you long enough," he said, sitting up, "I've been waiting to talk to you for three days!"

"Three days?!" I was asleep for three days?

"Yeah. Three days. You were starting to worry the doctors. You scared me," he said quietly.

"I guess I always was one to make a scene," I muttered. Kai smiled.

"On the other hand, your surgery went fine, although it took them a while to clean out the heroin from your system," he explained. Oh, no.

"So, you know about that? Kai, I'm sorry. Just, I couldn't deal with everything-" I said, but was stopped as Kai spoke.

"Don't worry about it. We weren't expecting you to be able to just stop."

"You weren't?"

"No! That's impossible! You're expected to mess up. It's natural." I smiled at him.

"Thanks," I sighed. The door opened, and Miku came inside.

"Kai, we need to go…Oh! You're up!" he said, turning to me, I nodded.

"Is it time already?" Kai asked him, surprised in his voice. Miku nodded. He sighed.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"There are still a few things we need to clear up with the police. I'll be back in a couple hours," Kai explained. I nodded, and they left. I shut the TV off, and leaned back onto the pillow, closing my eyes, and sighed. It felt good to know that I wasn't doing this alone. I opened my eyes when I heard the door click.

"Never thought I'd see you in here, Miyavi." I glared at Jaymus as he sat down in the seat beside me.

"What do you want?" I asked, continuing to stare angrily at him.

"Look, I-I wanted apologize," he mumbled, watching his hands.

"And what if I decline?"

"Please, just hear me out. Let me say what I came here to say, and if you still want me to leave, I will." I thought about this. I have nothing better to do until Kai gets back. Jaymus had better be gone by then.

"Talk," I said, sitting back. He was silent for a moment before speaking quietly.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you said you weren't involved. It's just," he paused, "we hadn't seen you in a while, and you wouldn't tell us anything. You were being so secretive; we had to wonder." He went quiet. Looking at it that way, I could see what he meant.

"So I guess Aoi's death doesn't really help, does it?" I asked my voice barely above a whisper.

"We saw it on the news. They explained what happened. We were so relieved when we figured out that you weren't a murderer." I remained silent. "Miyavi, I don't want us to continue ignoring each other like this."

"And what do you suppose we do about that?" I asked, crossing my arms. Truth is, I wanted to forgive him, but I wanted to make it as hard on him as possible. Besides, it might be interesting to see him beg.

"Please, can we just forget about what was said?"

"You said I was a murderer!" I was going to enjoy this. Jaymus hung his head.

"I know, but now I know you're not, and I'm saying sorry for accusing you. Please forgive me?" I remained silent for a good ten minutes. He watched me. I smiled.

"Ok." Jaymus grinned.

"You get out in a week. Do you want to come over for a visit?" he asked, excitedly. My smiled faltered.

"Jay," I said, trying to put this in the best way possible, "over these past few weeks, I've seen a lot of bad stuff. I had to deal with being the reason that Ruki fell off the roof. I had to save Kai and his family…my family, from Aoi. It was hard, but I realized that I still had a lot to live for, unlike what I thought. I'm going to give up heroin, Jay," I paused, "but I can't do that if I'm still hanging around with others that are still doing that stuff."

Jaymus was quiet for a while, processing this information.

"Can," he spoke up, shattering the silence, "Can you help me?"

"Jay," I shook my head, "you know I can't. I have Kai to help me, but I couldn't do it alone. Neither can you." He nodded.

"I understand."

The door opened seconds later, and Kai came in. He stopped when he saw Jaymus, and just stood there and stared.

"Um, thanks Miyavi; for everything. I should go now. I have a feeling I'm not wanted here anymore," he said, standing up. I nodded silently, and he left.

"Why was _he _here?" Kai said quietly as he sat down in the seat Jaymus previously occupied.

"To apologize," I told him, sitting up.

"Oh," he said.

"How'd the police stuff go?" I asked eager to change the topic.

"Good. Everything is cleared up now. It was mostly about getting Miku's care back," he explained. There was an awkward silence, and I couldn't help but feel that Kai was still thinking about why Jaymus was here.

"Kai…" I spoke, trying to get his attention. He looked up. "Thank you." He smiled.

"For what?"

"I dunno. Just being here," I tried pathetically to explain. He smiled understandingly.

"You're welcome."

It's been almost a year since the incident at the pier, and I can still remember the sounds of the gunshots, and the screaming. I try not to think about how close I was to losing Kai. I still owe him my life.

Opening the door, I looked around the house for anybody else.

"Kai?"

"In here!" I heard him call from the living room. Smiling, I followed his voice. I stopped at the door when I saw Rachel, Alanah, Miku, and Cindy standing there; decorations everywhere.

"Happy Birthday!" they yelled. I stood there, shocked.

"Miya!" I heard from behind me. I turned around; only to be caught off guard as Kai hugged me tightly. "Do you like it? We wanted to do something special for your first birthday here!"

"It's perfect," I said, smiling shyly and kissed him gently on the cheek. It was all I could do in front of Rachel. Kai beamed. "I can't believe you guys did this!"

This was so nice of them. Nobody's done anything like this for me in a long time. It felt nice to have a REAL family again, and to have somebody close to me.

Pulling Kai close to me, we sat on the couch, each with a piece of chocolate cake. We laughed, joked, and everybody had a great time. Everything has gotten so much better.

I haven't done heroin for almost eight months, and I'm happier than ever. My past still haunts me when I think about Ruki, but I try not to anymore. I focus on the good things in my life now. My family; MY Kai; the basketball team.

Once returning to school, I decided to give basketball another try. It's been going great; we're off to provincials next week. I've been teaching Kai some new plays, and he's thinking about joining next year.

That night, I watched as Kai slept beside me, and I thought about what I had to go through to get here, and you know what?

It's exactly where I want to be.


	12. NOTE

Well, I guess this is the end of this story. Truth be told, I had actually written this story almost a year ago by now, and I just managed to put it on here. I had tried for a while to get it published, but because of insufficient funds, I was unable to do so.

I really appreciate the reviews, since this is my most prized work ever. I really hope you enjoyed it. It took about two to three weeks to write, but then again, I wrote non-stop.

As for my other stories, I am almost finished Butterfly Fly Away, and then I will mostly work on finishing the other stories I had started. Also, my death note fic has been discontinued, since I really just don't have any initiative to write it anymore. Not as much of a hard core fan I guess; Hehe. So anyways, I hope you enjoyed, as I've previously said.

My fan fictions mean a lot to me, but even more so the people that read them, since it's what keeps me writing. You guys have been amazing for replying and I couldn't think of better reviews ^^. As this story ends, and BFA comes to a close, I may take a break. I will figure out what stories I am continuing and which I am deleting. I'm sure I will be deleting my mystery and death note fan fictions.

Thanks again for everything, and I'll be talking to you all again at the end of BFA. See you soon!

~~ XxXMiyavisHeartXxX


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